But we don't talk about it all.
In those quiet moments are all the things we don't say. The things we can't put words to because we haven't even truly admitted them to ourselves yet. The scary parts that we don't want to tell our loved ones because saying them aloud makes them real.
In the past few months I have had several grounding conversations with friends - either about my own life or theirs that have left me with the overwhelming reminder that we never truly know the innermost happenings of each other's lives unless we sit down and practice some radical honesty. All of these conversations have happened out of moments where we have slowed down enough to get beyond the chit-chat, beyond the surface conversations... to what is really happening.
Why does it take us so long to get there?
Why is it so hard to tell our self-proclaimed "best friends" the truth, even when it's ugly?
There are a lot of things that I feel good at, but being a honest, loyal friend is something I pride myself on. In 2013 I want to be proud of the friendships I maintain because they are real, no BS, and full of rich conversations about even the messiest parts of life. Life is inevitably messy for all of us sometimes and if we cannot be truly honest with our closest friends about it, then where does that leave us?
I would say it leaves us feeling pretty damn lonely sometimes, and in the spirit of less fear and more love in 2013, I am aiming for real. I am aiming for honest. I am aiming for acceptance.
Open up to your friends. Be the type of friend your friends can open up to. At the end of the day, say the things you are scared of saying, because that moment when you push beyond the fear of what they will say is the exact moment you free yourself from the loneliness of not saying it at all.